


Your Everything

by OnecanToucan



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns aside from smut, No is no, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Pet Names, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader is dense and dismissive, Reader is written with a vagina in smut, Reader isn't interested in romance, Reader just wants to be friends guys, Smooching, Spinel doesn't want to hurt you, Unhealthy Relationships, Vaginal Fingering, Yandere, slow burn?, smut in last chapter, so don't hurt her, stay hydrated kids, stay safe, tags are a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:47:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21791059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnecanToucan/pseuds/OnecanToucan
Summary: You are an aspiring photographer with an untamable wanderlust, here to grasp at any opportunity that would lead you further down your chosen path. Also, You are familiar with the Crystal Gems, who, however, you are not familiar with is the troubled gem with a pink complexion. You will be.
Relationships: Spinel (Steven Universe) & Reader, Spinel (Steven Universe)/Reader
Comments: 27
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter One

The Crystal Gems are familiar to you, you wouldn’t say you were the closest of friends but you can happily say that you are on good terms with them, as anyone in Beach City would wish to be. You had a close call back when corrupted gems were still running rampant, It was your own fault you usually have more of an attention to detail, trying to capture a gentle and quiet moment of the creature with your trusty camera when the flash went off by accident and scared the poor beast, the gems came to your rescue and in return you were forever grateful, offering your support as that’s the kind of person you were raised to be.

You have had your fair share of deep and meaningful conversations with each of the Crystal Gems, politely offering advice and comfort in the way of words rather then touch, even litt- well not so little now Steven would seek you out when in need of a realistic perspective, mostly using your pictures as a way to communicate your empathy, They trusted you and vice versa, If the tables were ever to turn you knew they would do the same for you and that’s all you needed.

This is why when the end of the world thing settled down (You were conveniently out of the city for a job interview) and Steven wanted to introduce you to a new and troubling gem, Spinel, you accepted, the Crystal Gems would never intentionally put you in any danger and you were super curious about the gem who tried to destroy home (not like this was an unfamiliar occurrence, but defiantly the first one in a long while) Steven updated you on Spinel's back story making an effort to tell you all the horrible things that happened to her, abandonment standing out the most to you. Steven was in the least desperate to find someone else for her to cling onto in the least offensive way possible, someone to reintroduce her into the community, saying that she was getting overwhelmed with living on homeworld with the Diamonds and warped back on Earth in a panic. This is why Steven called you and heck You didn’t mind, you were one for second chances.

Steven introduced you to the crystal gems house, you remember waiting in the kitchen leaning on the kitchen counter with the other three original gems, chatting lightly and partaking in playful banter. Two sets of footsteps were the first thing you heard as they made their way down the stairs, Your body straightened up from your hunched position, laughter falling short and your arms falling from your gleeful stomach to your sides, silence overtaking the chatter of the gems, you watched along with everyone else as two figures appeared, one familiar and one very pink. Your eyes met Stevens first, a sheepish smile on his face as he lifted one of his hands to scratch the back of his head before gesturing a wave which you eagerly returned.

Your eyes traveled to the side of Steven noticing the pink fidgeting and the stretched arms circling Steven's other arm, eyes drifting up to meet a very nervous pink gem, head held low under your gaze, eventually, magenta eyes clashed with your own before darting away and seemingly looking everywhere but at you. You took notice of her slinky like arms tightening around Stevens causing him to cough in discomfort. The pink gems eyes darted back to yours and you offered a soft smile, which readily caused a dark pink hue to erupt on her face. Letting out a light chuckle you looked away, her eyes now remained attached to your face. “Wowie” she whispered in the silence of the room.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You properly meet Spinel and you feel the start of a beautiful friendship

“Well,” Amethyst coughed breaking the silence “this is awkward”

Pearl nudged her and Garnet gave what you thought was a distinctive nod “agreed" one of her hands reaching up to push her sunglasses up, reflection shining off of them mysteriously "I believe Steven can handle the rest” Garnet spoke making her way out the front door "play nice kids" 

“But like we didn’t even do anything anyway” groaned Amethyst picking at her nails “Not like that’s new for you” Pearl retorted hands landing on Amethysts shoulders “we will be taking our leave now” she chimed pushing Amethyst and herself out the house after Garnet, waving a quick goodbye to you and Steven before shutting the front door behind her. Amethysts hushed voice the last thing you heard from them as they walked off "well excuse you" 

Steven and who you identified was Spinel continued their journey down the stairs, her pink orbs still focused entirely on your being and you shifted awkwardly under the intensity before shaking it off and taking the opportunity to take in her appearance. Completely pink completion, deep magenta eyes, hair tied into two spiky pigtails, three black lines running under both of her eyes reminding you of running mascara. Her clothes consist of puffy pink sleeves, hot pink wrist-length gloves, a magenta top, puffy shorts sporting the same colour, white stockings and a pair of magenta knee-high pointy boots. All you could think of was how good those would be for kicking ass. Her gemstone, you noticed is displayed on her chest and is pink much like the rest of her, pointed in an upside-down heart that made your spirits dampen a little. 

Your eyes trailed back up her body to her face and made eye contact again, slightly startled when you saw the slight smirk in her eyes, mouth etching slightly up, suddenly more confident than before. This only lasted a second as you returned the smirk, basking in her surprised state, magenta eyes darting away from yours again.

You shrugged and Steven made an approving noise, gentle smile of his face

“Y/N” Steven gestured to you with his free arm “this is Spinel” then gesturing to the pink gem next to him “Spinel, this is Y/N, a friend of the crystal gems, they are very kind and agreed to meet you under no ill manner, you can start over new with them” Trying his best to give Spinel a friendly nudge with his arm still coiled in hers. He didn’t miss the way spinel’s arms tightened and her eyes sparkled with awe “Somebody to love” She whispered only for her ears, eyes widening in realisation.

“Hey” you casually waved, allowing your hand down to fall to your side when you saw Spinel recoil in on herself, you scratched your head unsure on how to approach the situation before straightening up. “soooooo… wanna see my camera?” you asked picking up the camera with the strap around your neck and gesturing to it, holding it up to your face like you were going to snap a picture, watching her expression from in the lens. Spinel used one of her arms to slinky and twirl its way above her head before using a finger to scratch her head in curiosity “what’s a cam-” she paused “camera?”

Your whole composure lit up in interest, stars in your eyes, grin widening as a sincere laugh escaped you at her naivety “oh boy! Do I have lots to show you” Spinel brightened at your enthusiasm, her arms slowly uncoiling, detaching themselves from Steven, She was now attached to you and that beautiful smile of yours. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, more coming soon :) For reference, I used Wiki for proper descriptions of Spinel's appearance.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You experience friendship with Spinel, a bit difficult on your part regarding touch. Much time passes since you were first introduced to her and you know all too well about the life-altering consequences of her past abandonment regarding her certain personality traits.

Spinel placed her hands in her lap, fiddling with her fingers, unsure on what to do with them as she sat beside you on Steven and the Crystal Gems couch. She remained quiet, listening to you explain certain ridiculous human needs, speaking with your hands flailing around in enthusiasm, must be a quirk she thought. Cute.

When Steven (who left shortly after he saw how well you too got along) and the rest of the Crystal Gems returned, Amethyst burst through the door first, eyes landing on the both of you “heyo” she greeted loudly her entrance making you jump up and on guard from your position on the couch. You held a hand above your heart trying to slow the frantic beating in your chest “Amethyst! you are going to be the death of me” you yelled and in your now slightly less panicked state, you couldn't help but be reminded of the time Pearl got snippy because Amethyst ended up ripping the whole door off. Along with part of the wall. you snorted. 

“I’m sorry” Amethyst apologized sincerity not meeting her tone as she mocked “I’m not sure how you’re not used to that yet"

"haha" you snapped back

looking down at your phone you blinked at the time displayed, you sure had stayed longer than expected. You mumbled that you had to leave and retire back home. Spinel immediately sprung to attention almost hitting her head on the ceiling as she jumped next to you, her neck almost having trouble keeping up with her sudden movements. Steven and Amethyst made sure to applaud her efforts though as Pearl and Garnet watched quietly from the sidelines and Spinel ignored them reaching out for you before stopping herself short and looking away. 

“Wait! I-I uh” she paused and in a desperate attempt to make you stay longer, conjured three pink juggling balls from her upside-down heart-shaped gem. She stuck her tongue out in concentration "watch me’ I can entertain you” she pleaded and you almost caved into staying longer, but you weren’t about to let her look like a fool trying to serve you.

You held your hand up in a stop motion to gain her attention “Spinel” your voice gentle as you managed to make contact with her shifting and distressed eyes. “please, there’s no need for that” and you felt guilty watching how she and her gravity-defying pigtails deflated “But!” You piped up, clapping your hands together “if you want to, I’m sure you could teach me how to juggle, that would be fun right? I’m hopeless when it comes to eye to hand coordination and I’m positive you would be a good teacher” you reassured her waving goodbye as you made your way out the front door, yawning and giving a tired “goodnight” to steven and the others. Steven closed the door once you got out the house, but not before nudging you lightly.

  
“sooooo you too are getting on well” you just eyed him suspiciously before making your way over the porch and down the stairs.

  
Steven turned back around inside the house, looking at Spinel as she pressed herself up against the window watching you leave, the three juggling balls clutched to her gem. Steven nodded to himself knowingly. She’s smitten.  
  


* * *

Clingy.

  
Clingy was the first thought that came to you when Spinel infiltrated your mind in the quiet of the night. You aren’t a particularly touchy person but you tolerated it, tolerated the way she hangs off of you when together, coils her arms around you like a boa constrictor when walking together and much like a shy child and their mother, she would nuzzle her cheek against your arm and sometimes even catching you off guard when she did it to your cheek if the opportunity appeared. You even noticed how her arms would tighten around you in the presence of others, friend or foe… but you ignored it, pushed that red flag to the back of your mind, she’s your friend and you know all too well what she’s been through, you have experienced much together. You couldn’t help but feel miffed at the touch still, you prefer to show your affection in different ways then touch, it all feels so intimate and not something you wanted to face at this moment in time. you didn’t think you were mean for thinking this… just less touchy than others.

Which is why when Spinel insisted to stay at your house with you, getting approval from the Crystal Gems, not that she needed to, she's her own gem after all. But You remembered yourself smiling, the smile not quite meeting your eyes at the childlike awe in her eyes as she spoke about how she wanted to be closer to you, wanting to stay up with you at night telling stories, secrets and making promises about how she would always be your friend and you hers.

You declined.

Not that you didn’t want your friend living with you… you're just a difficult person to live with you excused. But oh boy the tantrum you witnessed was concerning, you comforted her the best you could, anything to calm the beast that was rearing its head, you couldn’t be with her 24/7 you calmly explained, you wouldn’t be at the house for the of the day anyways, job hunting was key in your everyday life. Sleepovers were always still welcome and frequent and she would always jump at the opportunity, cuddling up to you in your bed, funny when you remember offering your bed to her with you sleeping on the couch, you still woke up with her practically breathing down your neck coiled around you.

Again you tolerated it, Spinels your friend after all! Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on things are going to start getting dicey, so hope you're ready! ;)


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You relay over three significant memories shared with Spinel and You officially offered to become best friends. Spinel however, starts to see things in a different light. Starts to see you in a different light.

In the early days, you properly took Spinel out to show her all the beautiful moments you can capture on a camera, the dancing of the stars at night, the mysterious waxing and waning of the moon, the resonating pull and push of the waves at the beach, and your favourite, the locals existing in their everyday life. (even though you felt a little stalker-like when you zoomed in on people’s faces to capture the raw emotion being shown, you did always make sure to ask after, you weren’t about to abuse someone’s personal space) You remember telling her how you loved the fact that when you take a snap of a memory, you make the memory eternal. She thoroughly seemed to enjoy your perspective on the matter.

You showed Spinel the mechanics of your more modern-day digital polaroid camera and she watched intently as you did, albeit flustered when she got confused with one of the mechanics, hair and magenta eyes tilting away from you as she scratched her cheek in embarrassment. Flipping the lens to face the both of you, you fixed the focus as you mentally hyped yourself up asking for permission to touch her, she nodded almost too desperately, latching onto your arm herself when you hesitated and wrapping it around her shoulder as if you were the one coiled around her. Shaking your unease off, you pulled her closer in the frame of the camera. You couldn’t complain, you did initiate contact after all.

You instructed Spinel to press the protruding button resting at the top of your camera which will instantly trigger the snap “Say cheese” you warned and when she did and pressed down on the button the flash had spinel dazed, you released her and moved away for some space, obtaining the picture out the bottom of the camera and flicking the polaroid up and down to help the picture develop.

You passed the now processed picture to her watching as she carefully held the photo in her hands, holding onto it as if it would shatter at any moment. A deep pink hue slowly appeared on her face as she got all giddy “gee, that’s super-duper neat” she said, fingers dancing over your smiling face in the photo, grinning before clutching the picture to her gem which began to emit a glow “aww shucks, I’ll treasure it forever’”

* * *

Not soon after you showed her your favourite place in Beach City, the weather perfect for a day of exploring. You brought her to a peaceful area away from prying eyes and the chatter of Beach City’s local’s everyday lives. You told Spinel to cover her eyes when you got closer to your destination, waving your hand in front of her face to make sure and warning playfully “No peeking” leading her around with the sound of your voice musing it as a game as you both made you way up upon a hill, she chuckled excited and you joined in when her boots squeaked animatedly in her excitement.

“Stop!” you called when you reached the top of the hill, facing her and arms out so she couldn’t walk any further. You scanned the area to make sure everything was perfect before giving the cue to open her eyes.“ okay now ta-da!” you held your arms still open in exaggeration, watching Spinel’s arms fall from her face before slowly opening her scrunched up eyes, revealing to her view a field of pink hibiscus flowers surrounding the two of you, eyes widening at the new perspective she’s been given, scanning every minor detail in front of her. '

You sat down near the edge, the grass soft and lush under your palms as you watched in peace at the scenery overlooking Beach City and all its attractions. Spinel walked over to you and plopped down beside you, arms and legs relaxing into a bundle in her lap. She listened quietly as you entranced her with your stories of how you met the Crystal Gems and how you found this place not too long after, calling it your safe space. A special place to distress when the world got too overwhelming for you. The hibiscus flowers blooming there a bonus, you loved making tea out of the pedals, soothed the nerves you explained, recalling how you would show her how to make her own if she ever wanted to try it out.

You told her how you were feeling particularly bad at the time, nothing was going according to plan, even your beloved camera was having issues and you fumbled around in circles before stumbling upon this place shadowing over your figure. You hiked up the hill and immediately felt at ease. You felt her eyes on you the whole time as you vividly flailed your hands around in enlightenment. you turned to her when you finished, waiting for a response and when not getting one you pouted before an idea came to you, grinning widely “ and now” you started “ this can be our safe space” chuckling when the pink gems eyes widened “our?” she drawled out questioningly, seemingly uncertain. “Yes! What do ya say best friend!?” “best friend?” she questioned again and you smiled “well certainly if you think you can handle me” you joked “Yes!” she cheered grabbing your hand in hers. 

You huffed, the sun shining on you, you allowed yourself to fall onto your back gently, eyes closing slowly, you must have been more tired than you expected because not soon after you drifted off in a peaceful slumber. Too bad that you missed how Spinel leaned over you, expression soft and eyes glimmering as she watched the most rewarding being in her life, plucking the stem of a hibiscus flower, gently placing it in your hair she fell backwards, copying your former actions, noodle arms wrapping protectively around you.

The very next day, you were awoken to frantic knocking on your door early in the morning and when you opened the door you were greeted by Spinel “hiya best friend” familiar pink juggling balls in her arms as she gleefully exclaimed that it was finally time to for you to learn how to juggle. You made her wait which she did so impatiently as you got ready for the day, she remained placed on your couch, leaning on the arm with one hand cupping her cheek, her other arm elongated, failing to entertain herself by playing with your ceiling fan above her, a huffy expression on her face when you returned, which immediately turned into a cheeky grin as she made eye contact with you, shooting up off the couch.

She placed the juggling balls in your arms and you contemplated how you should start, not wanting to make a fool of yourself, you figured she would just give you a demonstration before allowing you to figure it out on your own, but she practically skipped around you humming and you shifted your head, eyeing her movements like she was a venomous snake and as she stopped behind you you couldn’t help but feel a little vulnerable. Pink gloved hands connecting with your shoulders you immediately tensed up, leaning away uncomfortable, especially as she guided your hands into the right position, giggling when you clumsily fumbled with the juggling balls and pouting when you gave up for the day, she stepped away from you reluctantly you turned to return the juggling balls to her, her hands caressing over yours in the exchange before she beamed them back into her gem.

You calmed your breathing.

it’s fine you thought maybe juggling wasn’t for you.

* * *

After those experiences the next one left you embarrassed and shaken for days and to be fair you weren’t the only one affected, you really should have seen the signs looking back on them now, but you played it off as you always did, dismissing them with excuses. She’s just super friendly, she’s never experienced proper friendship before and she’s not used to human customs. The remainder of your day was peaceful, Spinel, tagging along on your errands as usual when you offered to take a walk down to the beach. She readily agreed, she never had any complaints in the activities you did together. You two walked attentively along the beach, people of Beach City frequent, having the same idea as the both of you, watching the sunset in the distance. Then for the first time in your life, you witnessed a proposal.

A man leaned down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend, you clapped and cheered along with everyone else as his girlfriend jumped into his arms, catching her now-fiancee off guard and making him fumble with the ring in order to not drop it out of his hand as she screamed “Yes!” repeatedly.

“Hey, what’s the big idea?” Spinel nudged you and You carefully explained the tradition, not even looking at her but the scene of the couples happily ever after in front of you. Good for them you thought a small smile on your face you turned to Spinel to gauge her reaction, You well expected her to scoff and roll her eyes at the “ridiculous rituals humans have” but when your eyes landed on her form you were surprised to see her staring at the couple in awe, a glistening of stars in her eyes and you supposed Ruby and Sapphire got married, now one as Garnet, why shouldn’t she be able to experience that one day.

You just weren’t expecting it to be you she asked and in front of everyone no less!

You were utterly mortified not to mention embarrassed when not even three days later you were back on the sandy beaches under Spinels request, same place and time. Orange and yellow hues filled the sky as you stood patiently waiting for her to show up and when she did you couldn’t help but be suspicious of the way she was acting on the walk, fussing over her appearance, so conscious as she fiddled with her fingers, hands reaching up to smooth her hair down, turning away from you to hide that she was trying to polish her gem? You were certainly confused even more so when you cracked a ridiculous joke and when you didn’t get the applauding response you were used to, but you shrugged it off.

You ignored her quirkiness throughout the walk when suddenly you were rattled. Spinel suddenly whipped around towards you, grabbing one of your hands in her gloved ones, cutting you off from your casual everyday thoughts. Your attention snapped to her and she stopped you from taking another step forward, you cautiously raised your eyebrow at her and in a loss of composure Spinel at breakneck speed, lowered herself down on one knee. A replica of the man’s actions, you gasped when her movements almost sent you toppling over her but you steadily regained your balance, your hand still locked in a vice.

She didn’t say the four words you would be expecting to hear but you kind of got the idea when placed a hand on her gem and pledged eternally to you, producing a magenta box from her gem and holding it up to you. You baffled stared for a moment, situation not registering in your mind and without giving you another second to answer, Spinel opened the box, ring shining in the remaining sunlight, she discarded the box behind her, re-positioning your hand and pulling it closer to slide the piece of eternal symbolism on your ring finger.

I mean you could have taken the situation a little more composed then how you reacted, but yikes and people were staring too! You handled it how you normally handle your embarrassment. You blinked once and then twice at the magenta haired gem below you before bursting out in laughter effectively ripping your hand out of hers to cover your mouth, leaving her kneeling there ring held in the air inching away from where your hand was. Tears prickled your eyes and you closed them to try and stop any from escaping, missing Spinels confused and fallen expression “wh-what?” she sobbed unsure of what you were finding so funny. Did she miss a joke or? Spinels thoughts became frantic, was she the joke!- “I mean” you began and Spinel faltered “I’m flattered and all don’t get me wrong but uh, I don’t think you quite understand what this symbolises, maybe I didn’t explain it well enough” you crossed your arms nodding in agreement with yourself, laughing the whole situation off as a joke.

Spinel remained hurt and confused “and?” she retaliated “aren’t ya supposed to say yes or somethin'? don’t we love each other!?” she cried out, pushing herself up and back onto the sand, staring up at you in disbelief as if you had just shoved her, tears falling down her black-lined cheeks. “hang on!” You approached, hands up in defence “Please Spinel, listen to me" You began " You are misunderstanding this, there are different kinds of love, the one that ring symbolises is one we do not have" you paused thinking carefully " I’m not exactly interested in marriage, not just with you but anyone for that matter” you tried to explain to the gem and Spinel’s arms and legs became limp, extending loosely in distress surrounding the both of you.

“I’m sorry” you apologised sincerely.

She sniffled and wiped her tears away fast, curling in on herself and hiding away from you. You sighed softly when she made no move to get off the sand, guilt started to eat away at your insides and you prepared yourself for your next course of action. “come on now, you don’t belong on the ground” you offered a hand, she looked at it suspiciously but you felt relieved when she took it even albeit hesitantly, limbs returning to their natural state while you pulled her up before letting go awkwardly “Let's get you home,” you said heading in the direction of Stevens house, A gloomy hunched over figure following right behind you, head bowed down and playing with the ring in her hands shyly.

Spinel remained quiet for the rest of the walk. When you dropped her off at the Crystal Gems, Steven and the others looked confused and slightly disturbed when Spinel didn’t even look at you, trudging past you and into the house, dramatically swinging her arms by the sides of her, hands clenched in fists. You did your best to brush off the embarrassment the following days and not make eye contact with the people who had to witness that whole awkward situation, but eventually, things seemingly went back to normal and Spinel acted as nothing had happened.

But alas the calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well… that was something? Nothing quite like declining a proposal from an already confused and sensitive gem. (Author is a terrible person) This hurt me writing it out, poor Spinel.  
> Also I could not for the life of me stop thinking of that pottery scene from Ghost with unchained melody by Righteous Brothers playing when writing the juggling part pfft.
> 
> The chapter is longer this time as I believe it holds some significant elements that would help the story start-up in the right direction. The hill that's known as readers safe space is on the other side of Beach City (not where the lighthouse is)
> 
> Now the pink hibiscus-like flowers. I was referring to the series and movie as they are everywhere! Not actually too sure what kind of flowers they are (Hibiscus flowers don’t have single stems but shhhhhh…) and I was researching my butt off, trying to figure out the best way to describe and/or what kind of flower they might be related too, I went with the hibiscus flowers as they can symbolise friendship and all different kinds of love, also one of the benefits of the tea is supposed to lower the blood pressure which reader desperately needs :P Thanks for bearing with me here. Thanks.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time = Present. There’s a storm brewing and You spend all day out of Beach City. A friend asks for a favour and something happens that you can no longer tolerate. This is also the chapter where you find out you can’t have nice things.

You saunter along the sidewalk of Beach City, camera strap over your neck weighing your shoulders down and heart heavy in your chest, attire more formal than usual. Your head up as you spectated the world above, watching familiar stars reborn, twinkling in no particular pattern like a freestyle dance, for a second you thought, wouldn’t it be nice to see beyond the atmosphere. You sigh dreamily. 

You were out of Beach City all day running around like a headless chicken and bending over backwards looking for a job and sending in applications in person. Greg was a huge help, graciously lending you his van for good luck (You had to fake cough to hold in your amusement, that van has been through so much you would hardly call it good luck, but you would never tell Greg that) You accepted anyways, you doubt anyone else would have a car readily available for you to borrow, you should really save up for one, most of the time you just take a bus around, get's you where you need to be. You were a little scrutinising, especially when the van stopped and started the whole way to and fro, luckily you got a head start early morning, the van got you to your destination you supposed. You returned the van to Greg but not before pledging your eternal appreciation.

This is hard you thought and maybe your parents were right, you really would never immense to anything, living off their inheritance like a leech, you and that ridiculous camera of yours. Great, now your mood was defiantly sour.

You didn’t have much time to just allow your mind to sink into a peaceful silence and for a moment your mind wandered curiously to Spinel and what she was up to today. She must have found some way to entertain herself without standing in your shadow. Maybe she spent the day at your now shared safe space which, you reminded yourself that you would need to head back up there soon to pick some more hibiscus flowers to dry out for tea. You would probably spend the day thereafter another endless search for a job, most of the time you were showing Spinel new experiences and you saw the place a lot less these days or alone that is. Still, on the move and your mind now numb, you zoned out for a while only snapping out of it when- hearing footsteps approaching fast you turned “Y/N!” a voice called and a smile appeared on your face “oh Sadie, how are you?” You ask politely, giving her a moment to catch up with her breath “oh man, I’ve been looking for you all day, you really ought to keep that phone of yours off silent” She huffed out, hands on her hips and the phone in your hidden pants pocket now felt heavy.

Huh? You would think in a small city word would get out fast “Ahhh, sorry I was out of the Beach City today” you replied sheepishly before retorting “you know me too well Sadie”

“Well, with that out of the way, y/n I need to ask you for a favour” Sadie put her hands together like she was going to confess all her sins to you. You wheezed amused, your no saint. “sure, hit me” You offered “well” she began “Sadie Killer and the Suspects need someone to photograph us for our next album cover, as well as posters for the next show” You slightly zoned out once more, She’s come so far already you thought wishfully and smiled “Greg usually handles this stuff, he is our manager after all” Sadie continued “But the guy he usually gets is unable to due to family circumstances and we need to find someone, Greg suggested you?” she asked and you huffed why hadn’t Greg just asked you when you dropped off this van, maybe he saw how stressed you are. “I just figured” she pushed her index fingers together “Since this is kind of what you do” She gestured to your camera “ that you could help capture Sadie Killer and the Suspects essence, we would be eternally grateful, but, I understand its late not-“ “Sure thing” you cut her off “wait really!?” she blinked in surprise “Of course! when and where would you like me to what was it?” you wrinkled your forehead and placed an index finger under your chin. “capture your essence?” you teased wiggling your eyebrows and the both of you burst out into laughter. When both of you resituated yourselves, Sadie wiped the stray tears of glee from her eyes “Well, if you are not busy tomorrow night at the stage?” “Time?” you questioned “Oh we are pretty much always there in the afternoon so just pop around when you’re ready” she explained “that’s perfect, see you and the gang there Sadie killer” You clicked your fingers at her and turned to continue your walk home, you positioned your head back to look at her when she yelled, “thank you!” waving.

You continued forward, eyes targeted for your final destination tonight, arm up and waving goodbye behind you.

* * *

Clumsily you fumbled with your keys, note to self you thought, time to buy a keychain torch for convenience and safety, ugh, you were too unorganised at the moment. Turning the key in the lock you cracked open your door, reaching your arm into the abyss to glide along the wall for the light switch, a habit you have always had and once you heard that satisfying click you pushed your way inside, immediately moving to close the door behind you and lean on the wall and take off your shoes.

you froze.

The room that greeted you was in shambles, eyes now adjusted to the bright artificial light, you scanned what was once your living room and kitchen, eyes widening at the destruction. Furniture was toppled over, Your dining table and chairs and the items that were once placed carefully on them strewed out on the floor, picture frames smashed and glass lining the floor, that’s going to be a nightmare to get out of your carpet. Looking at your carpet it seemed to have some sort of scorch marks like someone was doing wheelies and skids with a motorcycle. 

You stood still in disbelief “ummmmmmm-“

“w-where were you?” a familiar voice whimpered suddenly, making you jump, keys jingling, you dropped them as you glanced around confused, your eyes shot up to the movement on the ceiling where Spinel was wrapped, limbs tangled around your ceiling fan slowly spinning in circles, pigtails hanging limp, she let her head hang backwards and down to look at you from you position still at your front door and you instantly recognised the tears staining her pink complexion and the dark bags under her eyes. how long has she been crying?

“Wow” you whistled “I didn’t realise there was a forecast for a tornado passing through my house tonight” you attempted to joke awkwardly and Spinels eyes widened into slits before narrowing. Her arms loosened and untangled themselves from the ceiling fan, allowing her to swing and drop to the middle of the floor, your couch still flipped over behind her.

You hear a ding! Taking Sadies advice and reaching into your pocket to pull out your phone, partly to see who messaged you and possibly to also snap some pictures for damage control.

Spinel lifted her hands to rub her eyes, a dangerous glint now in them as, shoulders hunched in anger, fists clenched and pigtails straighter than ever before, bristling like the piloerection that takes place on an upset cat, whips her arm over to you and ripped the phone out of your hands “Hey!” you cried out and she looked over your phone in distaste. she marched right up to you and jabbed you hard in the chest and you place one of your hands over the spot in surprise “wha- “She cut you off.“Where were you?” she repeated firmly, jaw clenched.

You held your hands up in surrender, ready to state your case before she cut you off “I’ve been running all over town like a fool looking for you, is that what I am to you huh? A fool! Oh! You have me wrapped around your fingers don't’cha” she paused a second before continuing, seeping in rage “you are out who knows where! This is why I should be living with you, so you don’t run off and get yourself hurt” you ignored that last part standing still in silence taking all her anger before sighing “Spinel” you began cautiously “did Amethyst seriously not tell you I was going to be out all day?” ugh how unreliable and you should have known better than to ask her for any favours.

“Yeah, but where were you?” she yelled “You just left me here all alone!” she cried, hands now clutched to her chest shakily, your phone still confiscated “I went to our safe space and you weren’t there!” 

"Spinel, I was out of Beach City today,” you said softly and then you frowned “and no one told you anything, not even Steven?” she remained silent “Okay I’m sorry I really thought someone would tell you. wait. were you seriously out all day looking for m-“

“Why did you go so far?” she whispered, eerily calm now, turning away from you, she crossed her arms over her gem as she tapped her foot on the ground impatiently.

you groaned thinking of your eventful day, well it was a failure no point now. “that doesn’t matter anymore” you told her, reaching out for your phone and letting out a squeak when she reeled back and slapped your hand away, you pulled back fast wincing “come on Spinel, I’ll make it up to you” you pleaded in hope before once again reaching for your phone. “It was just for the day and-“

“Nobody tells me anything” she growled, spinning back around fast and snatching your wrist, pulling you closer to her, gloved hands grabbing your waist before she positioned her arms tightly around your back in a comforting hug, dropping your phone on the ground and shoving her face into your neck. You immediately tensed unprepared, You could feel her tears on your neck as she tugged on the back of your dress shirt and pressed her chest up against hers, you could feel the indent her gem was leaving. Feeling suffocated by the contact you went to move her away which was an utter failure, your mood already dampened from earlier today you just wanted to crash on your bed. Heck anywhere now, the messy carpet looked comfortable at the moment. Though you’re sure you wouldn’t like the cuts you would obtain from the shattered glass.

“S-Spinel please” you coaxed

“If you really wanna make it up'ta me you will tomorrow” she muttered and you cringed when you felt her smirk on your neck. “uh tomorrow?” you questioned and she pulled away to look at you, angry composition fading away and magenta eyes softening. Spinel nodded frantically “Lets dance together” she announced, twirling you around once for a trial, making eye contact with you “we can do it at night under the light of the moon and I’ll sweep you off your feet and I could dip ya for the finale… well we will see, it will come naturally!” she exclaimed putting a hand on her gem which faintly glowed and one on your chest to feel the thumping of your heart “This would mean a lot to me” she beamed softly, staring adoringly into your eyes.

You stuttered, breath hitching, this! You thought. This is too much, it feels too intimate, ‘sweep me off my feet' what does that even mean, Literally? You stepped away from Spinel, stepping on your forgotten phone in the process and leaving her pink gloved hand positioned in the air. 

“Spinel I can’t, I have to photograph Sadie and the gang tomorrow,” you told her and She became silent, staring at the hand that was once touching your chest, now fallen by her side, her gem dimmed and her magenta orbs dulled and dilated, one twitching, a grin slowly made its appearance on her face, not meeting her eyes as she now glared up at you, tears prickling to appear.

“ you uh- you are really something aren't you” She spoke stuttering in disbelief, “You said you would make it up’ta me and you are already backing out, you should be spending time with me” she shoved a thumb into her chest, you could quickly feel her becoming more upset with every word bubbling up inside her.

"Aren’t I enough? why am I never enough!?" she yelled desperately, hands now gripping her hair and pulling harshly “use me, not your inferior, **loser, NOBODY friends-!”**

“ **That’s enough**!” you yelled cutting her off from saying any other negative things that would further damage your friendship “I tolerate a lot of shit” You waved your hands around ” but, I will not tolerate you disrespecting and belittling my friends, Spinel you belong to no one but yourself as do I, I’m allowed to have other friends, they were there before you!” Spinel, in anger, went to reach for you a wobbly scowl on her face but you snapped.

“ **No!”** You sneered, slapping her hand away harshly “ **Stop touching me”** You stopped yourself quick in realisation. Looking at her but not really seeing her, glancing slightly off to the side behind her like she was a ghost, Your eyebrows tense, not wanting to make eye contact with her as even that contact was too overwhelming for you in your upset state. You missed the hurt expression on her face.

“Look I’m sorry but I think you should leave, I need some time to think and I think it would be best if we spend some time apart” You sidestepped and swung open the front door, holding it for her and gesturing to the dark outside world with one arm “go home Spinel and stay safe please” 

You still didn’t dare make eye contact, keeping them lowered to the ground and flinching when you saw Spinel reach for you in your peripherals seemingly in a panicked state, eyes wide, before she recoiled, fists shaking at her sides, she bolted out the door, tears falling behind her.

She didn’t look back.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath leads you into the next day, you struggle to cope with the events that took place yesterday, but you put on your best smile and do what you do best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the slow update; I have been whisked away in the busy Christmas and New Year’s festivities. I had less motivation for this chapter as it isn't as exciting, Spinel isn't even present, spooky. Unfortunately unlikely in the next chapter either, but the plot thickens!
> 
> Merry-Late-Christmas and Happy New Year! I wish everyone the best for their endeavours in 2020 :) Enjoy.

Safe to say you didn’t get much sleep that night, and unfortunately when you don’t get enough sleep, you become a huge downer. The events that took place last night still raw in your mind. You wake up many times, tossing and turning before crashing back out, the images play out still fresh in your mind, you bleary opened your eyes and reach around for your phone, turning on the screen, you feel like you could cry, 3:00 am. You close your eyes, mind unsettled.

When you wake up the next time you feel no better, you get up and go to the bathroom connected to your bedroom before ungracefully falling back into bed. Hunger does not fall upon and neither does peace, You remain detached in bed crashing in and out of conscious the rest of the day.

* * *

  
Stirring to toss over to the other side of your bed, you come face to face with spinel’s shocked and dazed face…well not Spinel but the exact copy of the first photo you ever took together staring down at you, she has the original.

You groan, eyes bleary you facepalm, slowly dragging your hand down your face as guilt begins to spread throughout your body like a disease. Perhaps you were too harsh with her yesterday you thought, threading your fingers through your hair- No, you stop, sitting up in your bed, not only did she wreck all your shit but she disrespected Sadie and the others. How unnecessary.

You keep your eyes glued to the photograph; boy did you look a lot less stressed in that photo. Maybe uncomfortable from the contact, but the bags under your eyes are nothing like they are now. The happy and shocked faces stare back at you and your eyes hardened at the innocent photograph like it would burst into flames, your eyes soften “ugh” you sighed “friendships aren't easy” You reach over and place the frame, picture-side down on your bedside table before pushing yourself up and out of bed. Your room is barely light, as dark as it was when you first fell asleep and shadows cast over your untouched room. Stretching your aching body, you scanned your bedroom in relief, eyes squinting and scrutinizing, the first time properly looking at it from last night, surprisingly your bedroom remained the only safe room in the house from Spinel’s temper tantrum.

You change your clothes from yesterday as you were too exhausted to do after the incident and freshened up for the day... well night. You make your way to your living room and kitchen area and that’s where the rest of your day dies. You pick up an upside-down chair that didn’t belong on this side of your house and that now seemed unstable with its splinted legs. You made your way across the living room, dragging the chair behind you and tip-toeing your way to the dining table on its side, you reposition the table back onto its legs and pushed it back to its original place up against the wall, pushing the only chair you grabbed under it. You glance around once more, you would deal with the rest later.

You wander your way behind the kitchen island, wiping over the counter with a tea towel, soaking up spilled water and picked up your kettle from the side, making sure the cord didn’t get wet before placing it on its stand, turning on the power-point, you pull out your favourite mug from a top cabinet and grab the last of your homemade dried loose hibiscus tea leaves, placing them in a diffuser and balancing it on the side of the mug, your nerves buzzing. You waited… and waited for the noise of the kettle, hearing silence you slam your cup on the counter, head hanging low. Why today you think bitterly, shaking your head disbelievingly and flicking the power off.

You catch the clock in the corner of your eyes and immediately feel more awake “shiiiiit” You curse, running back into your room, looking like a strange beast as you dance around the shards and mess on the floor and carpet, you slide to your knees, reaching under your bed and grabbing a bag which contains your very fortunate photography equipment, you snatch your laptop off your desk and leave behind your polaroid camera, you needed something a little more advanced this time. You danced your way back over to the kitchen, ripping your house keys off the counter and heading out the door in a hurry, heading out into the night.

* * *

  
“You look-“ Sadie said as you stormed through the sand to reach the stage, frightening everyone with your sudden appearance, the wind gently blowing through your hair.   
“terrible I know” you cut her off before waving hello, you place your equipment in the corner on the stage ground “but” you jazz hand “I made it”

“Well you weren’t given an actual time” Sour Cream retorts and you glare softly “don’t be like that-Now” you grin, clapping your hands together, you gesture above and around you “these lights, I need to execute some composition” camera already clutched in your hands excitably "Let's get to work"

* * *

  
You wipe your brow of sweat, sitting cross-legged on the stage floor as you transferred the photos onto your laptop, chugging a bottle of water like the rest of the crew. Hearing the beep of a successful transfer you perked up, clicking on all the photos and carefully eyeing each one for flaws. Lifting another tab, you clicked on the ones you thought were half decent before hollering the rest of the gang over. “wow” they stared in awe at your screen.

“Y/n” you turn your head to look at Sadie “this is amazing! The lights, contrast and your perspective, gosh you make us look super spooky” she cheers and you can feel heat crawl up the back of your neck at your focused interest being praised, reaching up to scratch your cheek in modesty “jeez you trying to make me blush or something, its nothing really, I mean look here” You switch to a different picture and point to certain spaces of the photo “ there's too much chromatic aberration, the angle could be better as well, perhaps if I stand on higher ground” you place a finger under your chin and list the flaws ”we can try again if you want” you ramble, your ears are met with silence.

“No, it makes us look super mysterious” Buck Dewey mumbles “yeah you have some mighty fine talent there,” Jenny said hands on her hips “we’re not worthy” Sour Cream dramatically bows down to you and you became slightly flustered by all the compliments. “for real guys, if I had any true talent, I’d already been travelling the world already” you looked down eyes glazed over and Jenny bends down next to you and slaps your back “now we don’t wanna hear any of that” Jenny scolds “yeah you have passion, we want these photo exclusively” Sadie chimed in behind her and Sour Cream nods “never fear” Buck Dewey began “your time will come” he speaks as monotone as ever, unfortunately, he sounded more threatening than comforting but you got the point when he gave you a light but awkward pat on the shoulder and you move away slightly, moving to stand up.

“Ahhhh thanks guys” you dust off your clothes and you look down at your laptop screen, staring at the various poses, you sigh. “well, you guys can leave the rest to me, I’ll see to it that Greg gets these and I will see what his thoughts on them are, I should probably head off now,” you say dejectedly.

“So how much do we owe you?” Sadie asks standing next to you and you laughed “HA!” Sadie raises her eyebrow at you quizzingly “this is on the house, Greg let me borrow his van and I am forever in his unwilling debt so no need” you waved your hands a couple of times dismissively. You turn off your laptop and pack up all your equipment neatly back into your worn-down bag. You are stopped soon after, everyone practically jumps in front of your view and you stare In surprise.

“Hey, you don’t have to just leave straight away” Jenny stares “ our work is never done,” Sadie says shaking her head softly “we will most likely be practising for a while, no ones usually around at this time and for a good reason, it's super chilly" she shivers "so it’s the best time for us to practice and get creative while keeping somewhat secretive, well if we play super quietly” she uses her fingers to size into an inch apart and you raised one of your eyebrows in surprise, you know Sadie said they practice late but you figured it was in the time you were photographing them “You practice at this time of night?”  
“all night long baby” Buck Dewey spoke using one of his hands to ride out an imaginary wave in front of him. You cringe. "what we are trying to say is that we would like to perform our new tune for you, it hasn't grown into anything big yet but, you can be the first to hear” Jenny gets straight to the point. You think for a second before smiling “sure, I don’t want to retire for the night yet anyways” you move out the way as they go to properly organise and tune their instruments.

Sadie speaks up as she fiddles with the microphone stand, adjusting the level to her height for comfortability and convenience.  
“ We hardly see you anymore between the travel and Spinel, she is like your shadow,” and you Immediately simmer down “yeah, Steven and I have tried to get her to open up to new people but, every attempt only seems to upset her and make her cling tighter, literally”

The others listen quietly, grasping onto your words like a lifeline and you start to feel guilty again but not about Spinel or the events that happened yesterday, but your negligence towards the friends right in front of you. You frown and then push it away with a smile, sitting down on one of the unused speakers and waiting patiently for Sadie Killer and the Suspects to break into character, you close your eyes for a moment before peering one eye opened, making eye contact with Sadie, who is startled by the presently rare sly glint that’s in your eyes “so Sadie, what are you and Lars up to these days?” you ask knowing, elbows on your knees and hands innocently placed supporting your cheeks. Her eyes widen and a blush covers her face, her composure becomes clumsy and she almost knocks over the microphone stand as she sputters “gah! none of your business!” 

You join in the teasing laughter from the other members, soft and giddy, it surrounds the air of the beach and Sadie looks like she’s about to throw the stand she’s clutching onto at you, but she eventually surrenders, a sheepish smile on her face.

you grin, reclosing your eyes and are jumpstarted by the sudden unfamiliar soft but mysterious beat playing. You ease into the sound, shoulders relaxing and you instantly feel the tune resonate deep within you, unconsciously you tap your feet onto the ground, begging to clap along happily before standing up, you dance around the stand with Sadie, making your way around the stage to the others whom all incorporate their own moves with yours, swinging around, you have a head start, jumping off the stage and into the sand, earning you a round of surprised gasps, you land on your feet, albeit roughly and knees bent, you maintain your composure, arms held high to the dark sky you reach to the heavens, your heavy heart now feeling lighter as the others watch your moment of freedom, concentrating on the smile on your face while remaining in control of their instruments.

Sadie hums into the microphone softly, no words yet crafted for the song but, you think, no words are needed. You spin, kicking around the sand and laughing.

No one feels the beach air become stagnant, thickening in danger.

* * *

You part ways a lot later than you expect, waving goodbye to everyone, your equipment is heavy on your shoulder and you groan in discomfort, constantly shifting the weight from shoulder to shoulder to balance the ache. You begin your journey home in the dark of the night, the stars light your way home.

You pat the sand off your clothes when you reach your door, sighing you unlock and shift the door open to routinely switch on the light, You once more see the blistering destruction and a sombre feeling crashes over you, your house no longer feels like a home, for the first time it feels empty and you no longer feel tired. You have a lot of work to do.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time passes, you receive a very promising offer, compliments to Greg and someone gets hurt, compliments to ...well, no one.

The night you photographed Sadie Killer and the Suspects you suffer through another night of no sleep, frantic mind wandering into a dark fog, a place you have visited frequently in the past, you search for ways to cope, not only with the destruction of your house but, the one leaving a hole in your stomach.

The next days are similar, you, an unstoppable force fixated on cleaning up the fragments of your life purposefully, desperate to make your home, look like an actual home and not like you were in the apocalyptic era. You suit up in protective equipment you found lying around in a box with an improvised flare, fidgeting with a pair of your thickest gardening gloves, toughest shoes, knee pads and a pair of clear sunglasses, in case things get real crazy. You place an empty bucket near you to dispose of the glass shards, which you pick out of your carpet and floor with unease, there was an easier method you could go about this, however, your carpet was too heavy to pick up by yourself and with your phone by your side and friends a phone call away, when you were hesitating to comply you came to the conclusion that you didn’t want anyone to see you like this and you defiantly weren’t using a vacuum cleaner so your own hands would have to be sacrificed… the furniture comes next on your list. You receive many notifications on your phone. You ignore them.

When you are not cleaning in a haze, against the pull of your consciousness you are thinking of Spinel, worry seeps through you and the guilt an afterthought as you become desperate to make things right with your friend, even at no fault of your own you feel shameful and thought yourself as a hypocrite, demanding for space only to become clingy a couple of days later, it just feels so… unfamiliar, without her on your heels, the space feels nice just, empty. This leads you to now, carrying a heavy couple of bags home, signifying the end of your weekly grocery run as per routine, You feel eyes on you but shrug it off as paranoia, your shoulders slouch from the weight, usually Spinel tags along, no surprise there, and she readily carries your bags much to your dismay, she seemed to enjoy it so after the first couple of times you give in.

You hear a beep, another notification and you sigh, deciding to reconnect with the world, you place the bags gently on the ground and open the flurry of notifications, your eyes target onto the newest one, you situate yourself, repositioning your phone in hand and press down onto the desired email with anxiety as your pulse beats loudly into your eyes. You arch your eyebrow at your phone in disbelief, simply thinking it’s a joke before it sinks slowly and your eyes widen, rereading the email for confirmation, the same text over and over again, you can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face, the words signal success and you clutch your phone tightly to your chest, heart thumping against your chest in the most positive way. You yell out curses and throw out words of joy, pumping your fist in the air, a presently rare veil of happiness runs through your veins, warm with electricity in the moment and you make your way home, a bounce in your step and the grocery bags don’t feel as heavy anymore, you couldn’t wait to tell Steven and the others the good news.

* * *

Steven bows dramatically offering for your hand in his, you hesitantly place your hand in his, palm placed in his comfortably, yet almost hovering over his, the moment your hand makes the slightest contact he instantly bends down and lays a smooch on the back of your hand, a shiver rolls down your spine but It feels pleasantly good, you feel replenished, energy-zapping into you, but you immediately pull your hand from his and place your hands on your hips, tutting, feign betrayal on your face “Steven you can’t go around smooching everyone's hands even if you are a gentleman!” you tease, but do your best to remain stern, a very failed attempt. Steven scoffs “what! You looked like you needed it, only taking some of the strain off you, no take-backs” he wiggles his pointer finger at you disapprovingly, and you hear a click of his fingers as shoots his hands into a gun position, you felt small under all the pointing, but shake it off. “Ah kiddo, you are still so incredibly thoughtful, it has been a pleasure to experience your growth Steven” he gives you a nervous smile at your praise.

“Oh uh thanks, but I wouldn’t have been able to do that without the help of everyone around me” You laugh and shake your head at his modesty “oh Steven, I’m talking about in here” you point to his chest just over his heart “that’s all your hard work” he places his hands over his chest “may I ask what brings you over?” he tilts his head, changing the subject bashfully and you nod, holding up your fingers to symbolise two important situations, you start cautiously "Spinel? is she here?" you ask first and foremost and Steven shakes his head, no. “oh okay” you try not to feel so disheartened and then you remember, your forgotten excitement buzzing at new heights, you shove your phone from your pocket with the cracked screen in his face “Woah!” Steven winces back in surprise, eyes going cross-eyed for a moment before he exclaims, the purpose of the email now clear “ that’s super cool and exciting!- “ “I know!” you chime In “oh! and I have to thank your dad, this is amazing” “I mean, Steven” you point to your face gesturing to your wide smile “look at my face man I can’t stop smiling” you squish your cheeks together and he bursts out laughing before an unsettled afterthought washes down over him.

Spinel wasn’t going to like this… but he perks up at your gleeful face, maybe he could make this better.

As you leave, you glance back a little concerned when you see the grin suspiciously high on Steven’s face and the rubbing of his hands together, scheming.

* * *

**Next day**

Replenished from Steven’s healing powers you finally find some time to get some actual sleep, however, luck doesn’t seem to be on your side. A bright light stirs you from your sleep and you use your forearm to block the beam, tossing onto your other side before consciousness seeps in, you scramble your hands around on your bed, patting down on the sheets to feel for your phone, which you grab, its position balancing on the edge of your bed, holding onto the last of its lives. You internally scream when your ringtone goes off loud and it almost drops on your face as you fumble to answer the phone without looking at the user ID. “Ello?” you greet tiredly, yawing into the phone up to your ear “(Y/n)” you hear on the line and decipher the tone as Steven’s voice, he pauses and you let out a hum, asking him to continue “Please come over, it's urgent,” he says ominously, a smile slowly makes its way to your face “Steven, my main man, a little past your bedtime isn’t it” you tease and you hear him gawk undignified over the line “Hey!” he says defensively “I’m not a little kid anymore” you smirk “yeah? But even teenagers need their beauty sleep” you hear him tsk “oh you’re one to talk!” he retorts, and you laugh “touché” you apologise and even though no one is present you wave your hand dismissively.

“Meet me on the roof” is all he says in a rush; you hear a barely audible tap and a vibration signifying the end of a call. You allow your hand to drop to your side, thumping on the bed with your phone loosely falling out of it, you blink down at the display that shows you call details, did he just hang up on you? You face shows surprise and you think, okay let's see what the damage is. You roll your shoulders once before hopping out of bed against your sleepy bodies wishes. Feet slipping into your slippers you head to your dresser and pull out the first warm jacket you see, placing it over your pyjamas you walk your way across through your living room, still lucid and cautious at any stray fragments of glass that may be laying around. You groan, grabbing your keys and swapping out your slippers for shoes, you pat down your pockets for your phone, check you note to yourself and then do it once more. Double-check, with a sunken demeanour you saunter off into the night.

* * *

When you reach the porch after sluggishly climbing the stairs, misstepping many times in your minimum effort, you glance up at the roof and try to process the way you are going to get up there by yourself, luckily or unluckily for you, you don’t have to think about it for much longer.

“Oh golly, how I have missed you darlin” a very familiar voice cooed at you from above and you barely blink before a snake-like entity strikes at you from the top of the roof, the pink arm curls around you and a pit of dread sinks into your stomach at the tight coils around your waist, the familiar arm lifts you off the ground, you narrow your eyes when the certain pink gem comes into view and at the particular pet name she’s given you… that’s certainly new, the whole situation is, however, the sensual caress her hands display plagues you with a heightened sense of deja vu and the touch is enough to send your tired body into overdrive.

She lowers you softly onto the roof and the moment your feet hit the ground inches in front of Spinel you glare and snap backwards, pushing on her chest to keep her a few inches apart, the maximum amount of space you can get with her crushing strength, you suddenly remember your anger. "How dare you,” you tell her off “you don’t get to just manhandle me” she snickers, wagging a finger in your face “manhandle? I don’t quite understand” she tilts her head “shouldn’t it be (y/n) handle?” she squeezes to get her point across and if it were any other circumstance you would have applauded her at the attempted joke, but this isn’t right, especially with that newly found smugness in that air of hers. She’s silent in your silence and you try to gauge the emotions on her face but you can’t read her, her face remains blank, every second longer in her arms making you further uncomfortable, you twist and turn, ducking under her coiled arms, they don’t resist, falling loosely to the floor around you without your figure to hold. You see every emotion pass through her face, she becomes desperate, falling to her knees in submission, grovelling at your feet, bumbling out apologies and grasping onto your pyjama pants tightly and tugging you closer, begging you not to leave her, you resist digging your heels into the rooftop, it goes silent for a moment. “do you even know what you are apologising for?” you spit, and she backs up hurt at your venom before shoving her face into the soft material of your pants.

“what?” she mumbles peering up at you, “I said I’m sorry-did I not say it enough times? I can say it a million times and more, anything for you” she whines, you put your hand up to stop her from speaking “you disrespected my friends Spinel and I want you to understand that, that’s unacceptable” she shakes her head side to side in a negative response “I won’t” she tightens her hold on you, shooting up and looming over you, she shakes in anger before crossing her arms over her chest, her gem glints dangerously in the moonlight. You sigh and finally turn to Steven, whose presence remained silent until now, you see him studying the scene quietly “Steven I appreciate the effort but I don’t think this is going to work right now, this is beyond your control and it's obvious we still need some time apart” you keep your head unmoving towards Steven, ignoring Spinel’s habits; such as the tensing of her slinky body and coaxing of the fingers running through her hair and the more you ignore her the more desperate manic she becomes. You hear a soft whine and not soon after Spinel wipes her eyes, not getting anywhere with this situation. “why are you ignoring me and bein’ so cruel!” she yells frustrated arms flailing about in raw emotion.

You stay strong, knowing that the moment you look at her you might break, you watch as Steven walks up to her and reaches a hand out for her shoulder with one hand, she tenses, sensing the contact and hurls around, punching Steven, landing a score right on the face which catches the both of you off guard and Steven, unfortunately, goes flying off the roof on impact. In a panic, you scurry over to the edge of the roof and peer down, you let out a sigh of relief at the minimal damage done, Steven thankfully bubbled himself in pink, he jumps back onto the roof with ease, a look of determination newly formed. An arm wraps around you again, distracting you from doting over Steven and you are pulled back and away, the contact is too much, the situation is too much, you hear Spinel growl into your ear lowly “stop ignoring me’” pressing an intimate gesture that leaves your nerves frozen in ice, she places a kiss on the back of your neck, the hairs on your neck stand up and the moment her lips unattached you thrash about in her grip, facing her ends up being a big mistake, her head darts down, the consequence is a kiss smacked straight on your lips, she has your full attention now.

It ends as quickly as it begins and you are graced with the chill of the air around you, however, you are immediately torn away from her grip and thrown behind Steven, “that’s enough Spinel” he speaks seriously now and he holds his hands in out in front of you in a protective stance, blocking her view from you, Spinel doesn’t even notice the space in her arms, too dazed and lovesick, if her expression was everything to tell by and it makes you feel sick because it's directed at you. You curl up behind Steven, arms around your knees and head in your lap, the broken eye contact is what snaps Spinel out of her haze. She glares harshly at Steven for hiding you away from her and she feels immense hate for him at that moment. You try to maintain your composure and with a staggering confidence, lift your head to look back at her and when you do, you see Spinel swinging her arm around in circles, a scowl on her face as she builds up momentum before rearing the arm far back behind her, the power her arm will build up in the swing terrifies you.

Steven stands away from you to redirect her aim to him and she does, not too out of it to actually harm you, it was him she was peeved off at, eyes shadowed with malicious intent. “Stop please” you whisper, voice broken and your pitiful voice though small seems to be enough to cause her to hesitate her offence, a calculating look enters her face and a wide smile slowly appears, hitching your breath once more, her eyes remain on you as if devouring your expression, she nods at nobody but to herself, making a final decision she turns, walking towards the edge of the roof and she gives a casual wave to you at her departure and propels herself up and away into the slowly brightening sky, tears are not present in her eyes as she flees this time, a whirl of wind is the only thing left in her place.

. “Spinel!” Steven yells reaching out for her once again, he drops his hand to his side before turning towards you sighing, eyebrows furrowed and eyes more hardened on you “what's going on with you two, wasn’t that a bit harsh?” Steven suggests and you shake your head hanging low “she insulted me Steven and my friends and she hurt you, didn’t look like she would have stopped either If she didn’t think twice-” and then your eyes widen in horror “and she kissed me!” you fingers go to your lips in remembrance and you squint your eyes, face stained with tears, Steven who is now back in front of you, is panicked at the sight of the tears in your eyes, no one has ever seen you cry before and he rubs his sore cheek trying to lighten up the mood. Stevens's eyes soften and he finally nods in understanding “I-uh see” he coughs “she really laid one on me” he gestures to his cheek and you perk up “are you alright Steven?” he puts the tip of his pointer finger in his mouth and places it on his bruised cheek instantly healing the area “all good" he replies "are you alright?” he redirects the question at you, and you nod “hey wait- how did Spinel know to come here tonight? Was it just a coincidence or?-“ Steven is tense at your investigation, you would have believed his denial if it weren’t for the face he stated “completely coincidental" no emotion on his face or in his tone or by the fact that he can’t seem to look you in the eye, he looks so serious you can’t help but laugh, he winces, mouth held open in an o.

The crystal gems burst out of the house later than ever and make their way onto the roof just like Steven are shocked at the state of you, Amethysts is sluggish but her composure becomes more awkward and serious at the sight, Garnet keeps her cool personality in check, surely an attribute from Sapphire and simply offers a questioning thumbs up to the both of you which you force a smile at and Pearl is flabbergasted by the destruction of the roof. Steven fills them in on the situation and once they all make sure the both of you are alright, they head back inside.

You linger longer on the roof and Steven remains by your side in a comforting presence, you continue your prematurely cut conversation, Steven turns to you in disbelief after saying his goodnights…or good mornings to the Crystal Gems. “you’re not angry… why aren’t you angry?” he asks confused and you put your hand up to stop him from further speaking “Steven none of this is your fault, Spinel and I’s friendship is just a little testy at the moment and that is not of your concern, I’m sure we will come to an understanding eventually” “yeah she's always with you and when she is around here it’s to talk about you, nothing seems to interest her more and you looked so sad when I told you that we hadn’t seen her around, I wanted to help!” Steven confesses a weight lifted off his shoulders and You sigh in reply “Steven, I owe you an apology, that’s not your burden to carry, you have done so much for everyone already, please” you snap your hands together in a begging pose “be a teenager, figure yourself out” you plead and he mulls over your words, holding onto them before letting them go “I’ll try” he promises and trying was enough for you so you drop it.

“I just- “you awkwardly startup before pausing, “Spinel says we are best friends and sure the feelings mutual… but sometimes I feel like I’m being preyed on or something, that’s not crazy right? I mean that kiss only convinces me more so, how does she even know about kissing?" you finish sinking feeling decreasing at your questioning. Steven stays silent and honestly can’t help the immense amount of guilt that rushes through him all at once, knowing spinel is smitten, more so after that smooch, she laid on you, Steven could see that and felt torn between his two friends, spinel does love you but you don’t feel the same way. Steven can’t remember you ever showing interest in relationships, maybe he didn’t know you a well as he thought he did- he stops that thought, he was prodding and encouraging Spinel at you, someone who she never had a chance at.

“She’s been thinking of heading back to the diamonds” Steven blurts out, quickly covering his mouth with his hands. You straighten up at this in surprise “oh, thanks I didn’t know, I’m worried about her, of course, I am, the feelings she has towards me, I can’t return them” you pause “how long has she been thinking about this?” “well” Steven begins cupping his chin in thought “the diamonds have been pestering her, she did sort of leave without consoling them first, kind of surprised they haven’t come down for a visit yet, I only found out by accident” “accident?” you urge and he meets your eyes “yeah, on the night of your fight, I assumed she was staying over for a sleepover at your place, she didn't return, however, that later that night I couldn’t sleep and heard thumping coming from the roof, I snuck up to see spinel up there, she was mumbling to herself, I, of course, lost my footing and she- uh wasn’t all that happy that I heard, after that she hasn’t been around, thought it would be better for her to come to me” he finishes.

“That’s what I thought! I wanted to give her space to cool down” you say and then continue “the diamonds seem like a lot, very pushy from what I’ve heard” you admit and Steven chuckles. “don’t I know it” he begins jokingly “I mean, they just want someone to adore, I’m sure they are just beside themselves that Spinels not up there entertaining them” Steven huffs in relation and you huff for an entirely different reason “entertainment” you practically spit “is that all she's good for” you scowl, sitting back down and falling onto your back to look at the stars “adore sure is a strong word” “Spinel adores you” Steven teases and that shoots you back up to look at him with your jaw dropped “Steven don’t even go there, too soon” you warn, shifting uncomfortably “me sorry?” was that half-apology you received, you lighten up as an idea lights up in your mind “can I leave a letter here?” Steven looks at you with an arched brow “for spinel” you continue “if she does come back soon, I would like to tell her of my situation, obviously it's dicey at the moment and I would rather do it in person but from the events that just took place I’m thinking its probably not the best time” Steven nods in approval “sounds like a plan” you replace your back on the roof, your eyes closed, and hum when Steven asks you a question “when are you leaving? I’m going to miss you”

“soon” you reply and Steven hums back “and how do you feel about that?” he's taking a page out of your book it seems, comforting with words, you smile “it's new and exciting and what I have been working for my whole life, it’s also a new realm to explore">

You reach towards the sky with one hand and you laugh “and Steven?” you pause and he directs his eyes back to you “I adore you” you say cheekily, sticking your tongue out at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psych! Spinel did make an appearance :P


End file.
